Divorce & Its Costs
by Stacy Clarkston
http://www.atozdivorce.com
No one is ever completely happy about a divorce.
Even when you're truly ready to leave and you've done
all you can, it's painful. However, if you're wise, you can
find many methods to reduce the emotional and financial
expenses. Uncontested divorce fees can run $200. Difficult
contested divorces requiring counseling, mediation and
attorneys in the process of making agreements about property
and kids can average around $30,000. Emotional expense
can differ, as well. Factors such as the reason for the
divorce, child custody and property settlements can vary in
difficulty depending on the problem-solving and interpersonal
skills of the couple.
With some agreements between you and the ex about property
divisions and such, you can make use of many forms
available on the web. Your divorce can be completed with
less expense and less fuss. Go to any search engine and
look up "divorce forms." There will be many listings for
information and forms for your state. Start with
http://www.divorce-forms.com where you can find a wide
variety of forms for almost any imaginable divorce issue.
Perhaps you haven't quite gotten all the details ironed
out, but you think that with just a little assistance, you
could do this yourself? Fear not! Many good books offer
solutions to the most common issues of divorce. Try titles
like "Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce," "What Every
Woman Should Know About Divorce and Custody," "Spiritual
Divorce," and "Your Divorce Advisor." Do a search on
www.amazon.com and you can find many other helpful books.
Books are helpful, but sometimes you need a little more
personal assistance. There are many support groups,
counselors and divorce mediators available to those who are
really trying to work through divorce problems in an
amicable, clear, clean manner. Good choices are those you
find through personal referrals from people who have used
these services for their own divorce. Many are also listed
in the Yellow Pages and on the web, or you can call local
counselors for the names of professionals to talk with.
Support groups help when you need to vent or talk with
others who are going through divorce. You're going to want
to talk with people who have been there or are currently
making their own divorce decisions. Other members of the
group may have current local info about divorce, as well as
referrals to mediators and counselors. Counselors will help
you with personal issues such as grief and the major
decisions that must be made during this life-changing time.
By facilitating good communication with your ex, a good
mediator can help you save both time and emotional drain.
I've dealt with three divorces. Speaking from experience, I
highly recommend that you get some assistance. This is not
the time to go it alone. You need the support and comfort
of others. And while my mother was always right there
telling me what I needed to do, she has never divorced!
There is nothing quite as comforting as help from someone
who has already been through it. And the professional
guidance of those who have chosen to help people through
this very challenging time is invaluable!
You may want to see what services are available through
your religious organizations such as churches and
synagogues. Most of them have support groups and pastoral
counseling with peers, ministers and professionals. Men,
too? Yes, support groups, counseling and mediation is out
there for you, too! It takes a lot of strength to choose to
use it. Divorce can propel you into a time of reconsidering
your spiritual connections and finding a supportive
spiritual community for yourself and your family as you
make the necessary changes in your lives.
Every ending is just a new beginning. Your divorce can
provide rich rewards if you use the time to re-evaluate
your priorities. You can find a lot of personal evolution
through these heart-wrenching experiences. If you do your
footwork, you can keep your emotional costs down and find
rewards that will help make some of the grief and pain of
it worthwhile. Doing the emotional work also leads to
reducing the financial costs!
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